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2016 election

6 Unfortunate Life Lessons Our Kids May Learn from Trump’s Historic Win (If We Aren’t Careful)

November 13, 2016

 

A peaceful protest may help with closure for your older child or teen who mourns the loss of his or her chosen candidate. Photo Credit/Maury Feinsilber

Attending a peaceful protest may help with closure for your older child or teen who mourns the loss of his or her chosen candidate. Photo Credit/Maury Feinsilber

Upending conventional wisdom and pretty much all of the polls, Donald Trump coasted to an electoral college defeat of Hillary Clinton this past Tuesday, even as he lost to her in the popular vote.  Wednesday morning, many of us parents were not only shocked and dismayed (and sleep deprived), but also were wondering how could we could explain to our children what had happened.  After all, these were the same children who had watched us rally around the first major party female nominee for president, and had believed us when we said that Donald Trump did not represent American values of fundamental fairness and justice.   How to make sense of the loss?  What messages had been relayed to our impressionable children and teenagers in the process?  And how could we counter them before they did lasting damage?  Given that I wrote a piece entitled “7 Life Lessons Our Kids Can Learn from Hillary Clinton’s Historic Nomination,” it seemed only fitting that I take a stab at the life lessons our kids may now take away from Trump’s mind boggling win, as well as how we might counter and replace those lessons with healthier, more appropriate ones.  Here goes:

1. Bullying Rocks!/Nice Guys Finish Last

The Message:

That our children and citizenry have heard this message loud and clear can be seen by the alarming uptick in hate crimes and incidents being reported across the country. Some of these incidents appear to be perpetuated by our youth.   If our new leader can bully and get away with it, other bullies are bound to be emboldened and motivated to follow suit.

The Counter-Message:

Explain to your children that our new president ran a campaign based on hateful rhetoric, and by appealing to adults’ fears of the unknown. Tell them that as unfortunate as it may be, we are now seeing hateful responses by those who are ignorant and misguided. Emphasize that bullies are wrong regardless of what our new president may have done and said, that bullying is cruel and is never appropriate, and that ultimately it is up to all of us to point out when people—our friends, our classmates—are being bullied for their differences. Encourage them not to use labels to describe anyone else and explain how hateful names and labels and slurs can be hurtful even without accompanying physical harm.   Avoid using labels yourself, even to describe Donald Trump (easier said than done, but it helps to be consistent).  Explain to them the meaning of hate symbols and why such symbols are so cruel and harmful to others.

2. Never Apologize for Anything

The Message:

Trump ran a testosterone laden, alpha male campaign where he managed to get away with all sorts of bad behavior by deflecting to his less than perfect female opponent and her spouse. He also used the strategy of the non-apology apology (protesting that someone else did something even worse in the past) when he was caught on a hot mic bragging that he can sexually assault women and get away with it. In the meantime, Trump also managed to appeal to the baser instinct in us that wants our team to win at all costs and believes perhaps that apologizing only shows weakness that can be exploited.  Since Trump won, our kids might see this as a signal that they should dig their heels in when accused of something that they did wrong, rather than come clean and apologize to the person they have wronged.

The Counter-Message:

Remind your kids that it is not a sign of weakness for one to apologize when he or she is wrong.   It is better to do the right thing than to win in the end.  Set a good example by doing this yourself on occasion when they are watching.  Emphasize that it is not just women that are expected to say they are sorry–men must be willing to apologize and make amends as well.

3. Hard Work and Preparation Don’t Pay Off

The Message:

Donald Trump is the logical extreme of the neo-GOP anti-intellectual view that only nerds engage in preparation, reading, and studying. He famously avoided preparing for his debates and the lack of preparation was glaring relative to Clinton, who won all three debates handily. Indeed, Clinton is the quintessential policy wonk, who knows her stuff inside and out. Well, we saw how that ended up for her in the rust belt of this country, and she lost among the uneducated, including uneducated white women who we might have expected would want to help another woman get elected to the highest office in the land. Kids paying attention—especially those who are old enough to listen to commentary and watch the debates—might come away from all of this thinking that hard work and dedication are not virtues in the end.

The Counter-Message:

We must get the message across to our kids that hard work and preparation is a good thing worthy of their time and effort. Even if Hillary Clinton didn’t win the presidency in the end, she has accomplished so much over her lifetime, which is no easy feat as a woman, and that has been the result of all of her hard work and effort. Tell your kids that even Donald Trump had to work hard to get into an Ivy League college and build his business empire. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

4. Experience Means Nothing

The Message:

Donald Trump ran as an outsider and that meant that he has zero experience in either the government or the military. This is virtually unprecedented and yet lo and behold he got the job he was seeking. Some kids might view this as a sign that jobs grow on trees and experience is irrelevant if one is brash and bold and arrogant—like our new president.

The Counter-Message:

Tell your kids that Donald Trump is quite the exception to a general rule that employers require pertinent job experience. If he or she wants to succeed in life and grow up to become, let’s say, a scientist, he or she will need to study and get a degree and then get an internship working in a lab to gain experience. He or she will have to pay some dues. Trump is not the norm, in other words. The American public gave him a job for which he isn’t prepared.   We will now see how that works out for us all.

5. It’s Bad to Be Different

The Message:

Trump campaigned on a highly divisive, racially charged platform where he mocked a disabled reporter, called Mexicans immigrants rapists and drug dealers, threatened to ban all Muslims from entering the United States, and singled out “my African American” at one of his rallies. His “build a wall” battle cry and threats of mass deportation reeked of xenophobic nationalism. Trump also surrounded himself with some pretty racist characters, such as Breitbart CEO Steve Bannon, who is his brand-new Chief Strategist. Mike Pence, Trump’s running mate and our new Vice President, is a man who believes that homosexuals choose to be gay and can benefit from cruel and discredited conversion therapy.   But guess what? He won the campaign despite all of this, so what child wouldn’t be thinking it is a bad thing to be anything other than a straight white Christian male.

The Counter-Message:

It is super important that we tell our kids that it is ok to be different and we need to be supportive of our friends and neighbors who are. Wear safety pins and explain to your child the symbolic nature of the gesture.   Encourage them to read books and watch movies that stress messages of acceptance and tolerance.

6. Women Are Not Worthy of Respect (Boys Will Be Boys)

The Message:

Our children have heard throughout the campaign Donald Trump say mean, vile things about women. He has said things about his own wives and daughters that show he views them primarily as objects or possessions. Older kids have likely seen or heard the infamous videotape where Donald Trump brags he can grab women by the pussy and move in on a married woman like a bitch. They may have heard reports of the more than 14 women who claim Trump had sexually assaulted them. They may have even listened to the Howard Stern shows where Trump rated women on a scale from 1 to 10 or heard that Trump called a former Miss Universe—the most beautiful woman in the world—“Miss Piggy.” All of this together showed a staggering degree of misogyny and disrespect for women—both those he knows and total strangers. Despite all of this, Trump is now our leader. What girl or boy wouldn’t be thinking that women in this country are second-class citizens and not worthy of respect?

The Counter-Message:

It is critically important that we treat women in our lives with respect. Set a good  example by refraining from making comments about other women’s appearance or even your own figure flaws. Avoid using the term “bitch” or similar words with negative connotations about women.   Do your best to raise your sons to respect girls’ and women’s personal space and explain to them that there are no blurred lines when it comes to sexual consent. Tell your daughter that she is valuable because of who she is and what she does and not because of her body or appearance. Make sure she understands that she is in charge of her body and it is her decision completely about whether she will allow another person to touch her. If your son does something wrong in this regard, do not dismiss it as “boys will be boys”—make sure there are consequences.

 

Why I Trust Hillary (& Why All Women/Moms Should Too)

September 14, 2016
trust

 The media keeps reporting polls that show Hillary Clinton has a trustworthiness problem. I personally don’t get this. To me, trustworthiness in a candidate means that if elected he or she will follow through and keep as many campaign promises as possible. I think that voters may be confusing trustworthiness with transparency. Yes, some politicians—especially those who have been burned for being frank and blunt—may tend to keep things closer to the vest. Hillary Clinton in particular has been in public spotlight at least since 1992 when her husband ran for the presidency. A trailblazer on many levels, she was often scrutinized in a particularly harsh and unfair light and many people hated her for rebelling against the status quo while First Lady. As a result, it really isn’t so surprising that she has strived to keep an element of privacy in her life, as difficult as that may be. Now this has prompted charges that she is not as transparent as people would like. I would argue, however, that when it comes to her trustworthiness to serve the American public, superficial transparency is largely beside the point. Why? Again, what I look for in a candidate for president is whether he or she will strive to fulfill his/her promises and get things accomplished. In this sense of the word, there can be no question but that Hillary is “trustworthy.
 
Women and moms should examine Clinton in this light when deciding whether to vote for her and, also, must scrutinize her trustworthiness as compared to her opponent, Donald Trump. In other words, how consistent has Clinton been over the years in making promises to get things done and then at least striving to get those things accomplished? How consistent have her positions on policy stayed over her years in the public spotlight? Is she more trustworthy than Donald Trump when it comes to many, many issues of import to women and moms? I think it is crystal clear that she is more worthy of women/moms’ trust, and here are six reasons why:
 

1. Women/Moms Should Trust Hillary More Than Trump to Keep Us All Safe

Hillary Clinton knows a great deal about foreign affairs and is respected at home and abroad for her work as Secretary of State under the Obama administration. She has made crucial decisions under great pressure and our country stayed safe during her tenure. Among her successes as our Secretary of State, Clinton restored our reputation in the world after George W. Bush’s presidency, championed the rights of women and girls around the globe, negotiated the toughest sanctions ever against Iran, negotiated a cease fire between Hamas and Israel, stood up for worldwide LGBT rights, reinvigorated American diplomacy with Asia, and took on the global HIV/AIDS pandemic. Clinton’s stated policies on national security are designed with the primary goal of keeping us all safe.

 On the other hand, Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. He has shown himself to not have a firm grasp on the details of foreign policy, has unnecessarily inflamed our relations with countries such as Mexico, and has criticized our nation’s able generals. He lacks the steady judgment and temperament necessary to be commander in chief over the U.S. and the free world. Don’t believe me? Well, then take it from the GOP experts, such as Michael Hayden (former CIA director under George W. Bush), who have said the same thing, despite the political ramifications. Indeed, 50 GOP national security officials signed on to a damning letter stating that Trump would be “the most reckless president in American history.” Trump’s statements about getting rid of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO), an alliance of nations that helps us avoid nuclear war, are also very troubling. Former Special Forces and CIA Operations Officer Michael Vickers, former GOP Senator Larry Pressler, Bush Administration vets John Stubbs and Ricardo Reyes, GOP foreign policy advisor Brent Scowcroft, and Bush Deputy Secretary of State, Richard Armitage, have all said that it is Hillary Clinton, hands down, who will be more likely to keep us safe in a dangerous world.


 2. Women/Moms Should Trust Hillary More Than Trump to Fight for Equal Rights for All Americans, Including Women

Hillary Clinton has been fighting for the rights of women and minorities her entire adult life. She believes that women should make an equal amount of money as do men for the same job. She went to a conference in China 21 years ago, and boldly proclaimed that women’s rights are human rights. She has fought for a woman’s right to choose throughout her years in public service. Hillary believes that we are a great country that will become greater still if we treat all of our citizenry equally.

 Donald Trump? He has become the darling of white supremacists, a fact that he was very slow to acknowledge or denounce. He demeans women at every turn and has said creepy, offensive things even about his own daughter. He has also said racist things about Muslims, Mexicans, an American judge, and our own President. In fact, here are 13 prime examples of Trump being racist.  


3. Women/Moms Should Trust Hillary More Than Trump to Help the Sick, Disabled, and Downtrodden in Our Society

In the early 1970s, Hillary Clinton sought to ferret out segregation and discrimination against African American schoolchildren by posing as a housewife. She fought for the laws that now require public education for disabled children. Today, Clinton has concrete proposals on how to help the disabled in this country, including autistic kids. Clinton also has proposals to assist the mentally ill and Alzheimer’s patients, as well as stop the Zika virus.

 Donald Trump? In the early 1970s, Donald Trump’s father and he were refusing to rent housing to African Americans in violation of the Fair Housing Act. He mocks the disabled and seeks an end to “political correctness” (aka civility) as we know it in this country. Trump has also been sued multiple times for violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act, including a variety of accessibility issues at his Atlantic City casino, Taj Mahal, which recently shut its doors after filing for bankruptcy. Trump has no concrete plans to help the sick, disabled, and downtrodden in our country.


 4. Women/Moms Should Trust Hillary More Than Trump to Reduce Gun Violence in This Country

As a corollary to #1 above, Hillary Clinton has been an ardent supporter for common sense gun safety laws. Her critics say, without any evidence whatsoever, that she aims to take away guns or abolish the Second Amendment but, in fact, she just wants enactment of laws that will operate to keep guns out of the hands of terrorists, the severely mentally ill, domestic abusers, and convicted felons. Not only is this reasonable, it’s essential to protect Americans from mass shootings and other fatalities due to gun violence. Her goal of expanding background checks is supported by the overwhelming majority of Americans, including gun owners.

 Donald Trump? He has been endorsed by the National Rifle Association for his views on guns, including the elimination of gun-free zones at schools. He also likes to tell jokes about gun violence, which really are not funny. At all.


 5. Women/Moms Should Trust HIllary More Than Trump to Help Families, Children, and Young Adults

Hillary Clinton has policies on K-12 education in this country that will ultimately benefit all of us. She wants to make pre-Kindergarten universal for all children, and has a plan for debt-free college. She is committed to fighting for paid family leave, and has done so both as First Lady and as a United States Senator. Starting with her work on the Children’s Defense Fund, Hillary has made children’s rights a priority. Also, most everyone knows that Hillary unsuccessfully fought for universal health care before it was Obamacare, but did you know that she helped pass the Children’s Health Insurance Program, which today insures millions of American children? She gave an interview to Parents Magazine in which she promised to help families and provided specifics.

 Donald Trump? As a lifelong businessman and entrepreneur, he is a relative newcomer to the question of education in our country and, since announcing his candidacy, has offered little to no specifics regarding how he would address or tackle the problems we face today. Most recently, his proposals to focus more resources on charter schools and voucher programs seem likely to weaken or even gut our current public school system. When Parents Magazine reached out to ask Trump the same questions about families as were posed to Hillary, he declined to be interviewed.  Just this past Tuesday, he finally elaborated on his proposed childcare and maternity leave policies with daughter, Ivanka, standing beside him.   The maternity leave policy has already been criticized for being 50% shorter than Clinton’s proposal (six weeks vs. twelve weeks) and sexist as well (Clinton’s plan includes paternity leave for fathers; Trump’s is solely for working moms).  Trump’s childcare plan calls for a tax deduction that would benefit wealthy working mothers but not the average working mom who is struggling to make ends meet.


 6. Women/Moms Should Trust Hillary More Than Trump to Protect Our Environment

The graphic below makes clear that when it comes to protecting the environment for our kids and grandkids, there is no comparison between Clinton and Trump. Hillary understands the dangers of climate change and will work to protect our planet while creating jobs. And Trump? He has called the policies of the Obama administration, such as the Clean Power Plan, “stupid” and, like many Republicans, denies that climate change is a concern, despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary. 
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All In for Hillary! A Progressive Mom’s Back-to-School “To Do” List

September 2, 2016
The FeMOMist and her 16 year old son registering voters in Falls Church, VA.

Jennifer (aka “The FeMOMist”) and her 16 year old son registering voters in Falls Church, VA.

After a summer of family fun, my kids both went back to school on Monday, giving me a few minutes of peace and tranquility.

OK…that’s over.

It’s less than 10 weeks until Election Day!   Now that I have more time, what can I do to help Hillary get elected (and keep Donald Trump far away from the nuclear codes)?!

Here is one progressive mom’s “to do” list for this election season, which is shaping up to be one of the most important presidential elections in our lifetime.  The great thing is that many of these things can be accomplished with your kids by your side so you can set a good example, while getting them involved with the political process early in life!

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My Back-to-School “To Do” List

1. Join (or Start) a Group

Grassroots organization has become one of the most effective way of mobilizing folks to support a cause, often from the comfort of their own homes.  Stay-at-home (or well organized) moms can benefit from this empowering way to get involved.  The group can stay social media-centered, but occasionally goes viral and takes on a life of its own.

Some examples of moms organizing at the grassroots level?  Shannon Watts of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America started a movement in the wake of the Sandy Hook mass shooting that resembled Mothers Against Drunk Driving in some ways but had all the markings of the modern era:  Watts used social media to build up her massive following (now over a half million followers on Facebook alone) in a relatively short period of time.

More recently, Julie Zebrak started Moms4HRC (over 13,000 followers on Facebook) with the goal of electing Hillary Clinton as our 45th president.  Julie uses her electronic bully pulpit to send out (via social media and e-mail) pro-Hillary content from legitimate news organizations that she reads and digests before disseminating.  She also provides content on how to get involved with the campaign, has hosted a phone bank, is fundraising for the campaign, and just launched a website devoted to the group.  A lawyer and mom of two teenaged girls, Julie quit her government job to devote herself full-time to Moms4HRC.

No need to reinvent the wheel if you aren’t the organizing type (which I’m not), or simply don’t have the time.  All you have to do is like/join/follow groups like Moms Demand Action and Moms4HRC and there is genuine power and clout in numbers.

A Moms4HRC chart designed to inform moms about ways to help in various states.

“To Do” in Virginia for the week of August 26: Follow Moms4HRC on Facebook/subscribe to emails to receive these helpful charts on a weekly basis.

2.  Canvassing

While I personally haven’t done this yet, according to the research, canvassing is probably the single most effective way of getting out the vote.  Canvassing involves knocking on the doors of voters and encouraging them to vote for Hillary.  If you don’t feel comfortable doing this alone, bring a friend along or your kids.  I know of multiple women/moms who have canvassed for the Clinton campaign, and they say it’s a great experience to connect with real people and talk about the issues.

To get involved with canvassing in your town, especially in key battleground states:  (1) go to hillaryclinton.com, (2) click on the “more” tab, and (3) enter your zip code under “events.”  You can then (4) select “canvass” as a filter to see upcoming opportunities and get additional information.

3.  Voter Registration

I registered voters on a scorching hot day in Virginia with my kids (see above pic with my 16 year old son taken by my 14 year old daughter), and plan to do more now that it’s not as hot outdoors.

Basically, voter registration involves:

(1) Going to a group information session where you will learn about the voting requirements of a given state, and what you need to do to help a person register to vote.

(2)  From there, going to an assigned location (typically outside of supermarkets or other public places)

(3) Asking people who pass by if they are registered to vote and, if not, would they like to register.  

(4) Volunteers also help folks fill out the paperwork, which can be challenging for some.

Note that we do not ask anyone to vote specifically for Hillary.  The purpose is to make sure that everyone who is unregistered but is eligible and wants to vote is registered before their state deadline.  

In Virginia, for example, that deadline is October 17th, but every state is different.  Since different states also have varying requirements for residents that can make registering to vote more or less challenging to accomplish, voter registration can be a great civics lesson for older kids who are learning in school about the history of the civil rights movement and the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

4.  Go to a Phone Bank

Not a face-to-face people person?  Have physical or other challenges that would make canvassing and voter registration (which generally involves walking and/or standing for periods of time) difficult?  Consider attending a phone bank event or volunteering for the virtual phone bank.  I did this beginning with Iowa during the primaries and it was so easy.  Yes, this is “cold calling,” but typically as the general election approaches you will be talking to a Clinton supporter and either asking them to volunteer or commit over the phone to voting for Hillary in early voting or on Election Day.  Whatever you are tasked with accomplishing during a phone bank session, you will have a script in front of you, and all the information you need.

Go here for more info about the campaign’s virtual phone bank.

For info about phone bank events near you, (1) go to hillaryclinton.com, (2) click on the “more” tab, (3) enter your zip code in the space provided under “events,” and (4) filter by “phone banks” along the sidebar.

5.  Host a Fundraiser

Yes, this can sound a little daunting, but fundraisers come in many shapes and sizes.  Even if you aren’t the PTA type, you too can raise money for Hillary!  For example, what about setting up a lemonade stand and donating all proceeds to the Clinton campaign fund?  Not only are you getting the little ones involved at a level they can understand, but also you can chat with people as they come by and say why you are voting for Hillary and why they should too. Another example:  Zebrak’s group is hosting a family friendly, back to school event in the backyard of a friend’s home.  Be creative!

A Florida mom sells lemonade to raise money for Clinton campaign.

A Florida mom sells lemonade to raise money and awareness for the Clinton campaign.

6. Attend a Fundraiser or Campaign Event

For a campaign contribution of varying amounts, you can go to an event to hear and sometimes meet interesting celebrity speakers.  Occasionally there are even big name performers/Clinton supporters like Katy Perry or Barbra Streisand.  Fundraisers like these tend to be centered around major cities such as Washington, D.C., New York, Los Angeles, and Boston, but there can also be similar events going on elsewhere, particularly in battleground states such as Florida and Pennsylvania.

For a list of official campaign fundraiser events, (1) go to hillaryclinton.com, (2) click on the “more” tab, (3) enter your zip code under “events,” and (4) use filters to find the event that’s best for you.

If you are in the DC metro area, and can’t afford a major fundraising event, consider going with your family to Moms4HRC’s back-to-school party on September 17th for a smaller campaign contribution.  For more info, click here.

Women for Hillary Fundraising Event on May 4 in Washington, D.C., featuring a panel discussion with Eva Longoria, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, NARAL president Ilyse Hogue, and Clinton aide Cheryl Mills.

Women for Hillary Fundraising Event on May 4 in Washington, D.C., featuring a panel discussion with Eva Longoria, NY Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, NARAL president Ilyse Hogue, and Cheryl Mills.

Hillary Clinton speaks at fundraising event attended by the author.

Hillary Clinton speaks at fundraising event attended by the author.

7. Spread the Word

This has become much easier in the Internet era.  I personally enjoy writing and have a background as an attorney/litigator, so I decided to start a blog entitled Musings from the FeMOMist.  While my blog covers many topics of concern to moms and women, a number of my posts are about Hillary Clinton and why moms/women should vote for her over Donald Trump.  Writing is a kind of a hobby for me at this point and my favorite way of supporting Hillary.

Not into writing?  That’s perfectly fine–you can send out a short email blast to your networks and quote or link to other sources (give credit as appropriate) or share content with your Facebook friends.  If you have a Twitter account you can tweet occasionally or share content that way.

8. Stay Informed

It’s hard to spread the word about Hillary’s accomplishments and what she intends to do as POTUS unless you are informed yourself.  There are many ways for a busy mom to do this.

Read articles about Clinton from reputable news sources that you feel confident are not biased against her.  (An example of a so-called news source not to trust is Breitbart since its editor-in-chief is now running the Trump campaign.)

Moms4HRC does a great job of gathering information and news and posting on its Facebook page.  If you don’t follow the group on Facebook, all of the posts are here.

Here is a link to a reasonably comprehensive list of Clinton’s jobs, experience, and accomplishments.  Print it out and carry it with you to show people when they tell you Hillary hasn’t “accomplished” anything.

A recent interview of Clinton by Parents Magazine reveals what she plans to do specifically to help families.

Go to Hillary’s website to see her concrete proposals to address an array of issues that face our country.

Follow these links to some of my entries as a contributor on HuffPost to know how to respond when people say they are considering voting for Donald Trump over Clinton, say that she is crooked/a liar, bring up Benghazi/emails, or mention that they dislike her.

9. Adopt a Campaign Office

One great idea proposed by Moms4HRC (see graphic below) is to adopt a campaign office.  Basically, you provide food, drinks, and supplies to the volunteers who are working away to support the campaign.

Ideas on what to contribute to your local campaign office, courtesy of Moms4HRC

Ideas on what to contribute to your local campaign office, courtesy of Moms4HRC

10.  Volunteer at a Campaign Office

Local campaign offices welcome volunteers and can have a variety of jobs for you to do, both at the office and in the field.  As one example, during the primaries, I volunteered to stand outside an early voting poll venue and hand out flyers about Hillary.  If your kids are old enough, you can bring them along and get them involved too.  As we get closer to the election, there will be opportunities to drive voters to the polling place, and help watch little kids while their parents vote.

The author handing out literature at a polling place during early voting, with Jamie Raskin, a Democrat running for the US Congress in Maryland.

The author handing out literature at a polling place during primary early voting.  To her left is Jamie Raskin, Democratic candidate for the US Congress.

Clinton v. Trump: A Referendum on Morality, Civility & “Political Correctness”

August 16, 2016

I don’t think of myself as having an alarmist type of personality.  So please give me a chance to explain exactly why I think that the upcoming presidential election is nothing short of a referendum on morality and civility in the United States. In fact, I think that it isn’t enough for Donald Trump to lose this election. He needs to lose badly.  Like in a landslide badly. Like Walter Mondale badly. I think Donald Trump needs to lose so badly that no one will ever again dare spend the time, and money, and effort to run a presidential campaign predicated on a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic platform. My concern, frankly, is that Donald Trump has—with his dismissive talk about the role of political correctness in a civilized society and his encouragement (incitement?) of violence against his rivals such as Hillary Clinton–uncovered a very ugly underbelly of American society that find in him their grotesque hero.  Now that Pandora’s box has been opened, the only way we can hope to close it up again is with a resounding loss of epic proportions.

It’s not that I didn’t know that this element existed in our society. Of course I knew that there are white supremacists, neo-Nazis, bigots of all ilk living in this country, and that there are people who have shrines in their homes devoted to the Confederate flag and what it represents. It’s just I felt in my almost 50 years of life that in my country–the country to which my own ancestors fled to escape hatred and persecution over 100 years ago–no one in a position of power and authority would ever sanction those views.

We all know the story of Trump’s unlikely climb towards the GOP nomination.  First, we laughed at his candidacy, taking it as seriously as we would if Ryan Seacrest or any other reality TV star suddenly said he was running for POTUS. Then, we recoiled when he doubled down after Megyn Kelly called him out at the GOP debate, asking him to explain sexist, misogynistic language he has used in the past to describe women.   We thought that no one would continue to support him after he said that Mexican immigrants were rapists and criminals or after he mocked a disabled reporter. Of course, we now know all too well, we were wrong. Despite the 16 Republicans running against him, all vastly more qualified than he is for the job, Donald Trump went on to win the GOP nomination handily.   Since then, those in his own party who hoped he would suddenly transform himself into a “new” Donald Trump have been sorely disappointed as he continues to disparage Muslims—even Gold Star families, and weave farcical (and completely false) tales that President Obama and Hillary Clinton “founded” ISIS.  Even as GOP leaders have started to distance themselves from him, with some prominent Republicans going so far as to say they will vote for Clinton, there remains a solid base of Trump support that seems to be indestructible.

You see, I subscribe to the theory that nothing much distinguishes angry and frustrated Trump supporters from the Germans in the 1930s who were searching aimlessly for a scapegoat to blame for their troubles. Like 2016 America, Germany was a highly civilized country and we all know who came to power there and what he went on to do to those that he and his followers decided to scapegoat—the Jews, homosexuals, the disabled. Once we strip away what Trump and his supporters call with no small measure of contempt “political correctness,” but in fact is decency and civility, we are set adrift in a sea that has no boundaries. For if Trump can speak so freely and be so successful in the political arena, and if his supporters–previously closeted bigots–feel free to openly express hatred for their fellow Americans and not face any social or political ramifications, then where does it end?

This is why I am so disappointed when people I know who are pro-Clinton and anti-Trump talk as if Clinton has the election all wrapped up so why bother making an effort.   Yes, yes, I have read the articles about polls in battleground states and dire portraits of Trump’s campaign becoming the proverbial sinking ship, but no matter. First of all, voters can be fickle and Clinton’s support to date has been said to be less than exuberant.  But more to the point, it is not enough for Clinton to win this election. When Clinton’s platform is the most progressive in history and touts equality as an ideal to which we must continue to aspire, and her opponent is steeped in nationalistic jargon of going back to a bygone era when minorities and women had even fewer rights than they do today, then how can Americans view this election as anything but a referendum on equality, core American values and, yes, morality and civility?

All of this is to say:  no one who cares about making America even greater than it is today, by continuing to pursue the ideals that made us great in the first place, can afford to sit out this election (or even to vote for a third party candidate who has no chance of winning in November). If you believe that we, as a nation, are made up of people who are very different, but that we are stronger when we band together than we are when we build walls—physically or metaphorically—to keep out those who are different, then there is no choice.  Vote for Clinton, volunteer for her campaign, contribute to her campaign, and speak out loud and clear against those who try to tell you that a vote for Trump isn’t a vote for racism and divisiveness in this country. Because the only thing standing between an America that continues on the path to a more perfect union, and one that goes backwards in time to the days when it was perfectly acceptable to openly hate others, is all of us.